[SELF UNDERSTANDING] Why I always procrastinate

[Diary]
Date: 9 Feb 2018

Có 4 kiểu người khi ra quyết định:
1. UPHOLDER: Người tự ra quyết định dựa trên mục tiêu bên ngoài và bên trong. Loại người này hiếm - theo tôi chính là loại người SELF-MOTIVATOR - họ tự quyết định phải làm gì và luôn có ĐỘNG LỰC để hoàn thành những gì họ đặt ra. Họ cũng là người làm việc tốt với người khác, khi họ nhận thấy yêu cầu từ bên ngoài là hợp lý và cần thiết, họ cũng tự sắp xếp làm việc tốt.
Parents tôi thuộc nhóm này. Lý giải cho câu hỏi tôi luôn tự đặt ra là 'sao họ có nhiều năng lượng để làm đủ mọi thứ lặt vặt mỗi ngày, từ ngày này sang ngày khác như vậy?!' Hóa ra là họ thuộc nhóm này, họ chẳng cần người theo dõi, thúc bách hay gì gì, chỉ cần họ thấy việc đó là cần thì họ làm thôi.

2. QUESTIONER: Người luôn đặt câu hỏi tại sao cho mọi chuyện, nhưng 1 khi họ đã có câu trả lời hợp lý mà họ thừa nhận, họ sẽ thực hiện những việc họ thấy là cần.

3. REBELLER: Người chẳng thích làm theo bất cứ yêu cầu bên trong hay bên ngoài nào. Người này khó làm việc chung, khó là nhân viên tốt, muốn làm việc với họ thì đôi lúc phải 'lừa' họ 1 chút.

4. OBLIGATOR: Người luôn hoàn thành các yêu cầu của người khác nhưng lại có thể dễ dàng bỏ qua những gì riêng bản thân họ cần. Người này luôn cần có 'cái neo' từ bên ngoài, luôn cần người giám sát, thúc đẩy.

(Tuy nhiên cần lưu ý là bất kể là loại người nào thì kết quả công việc của họ không phải lúc nào cũng tốt, vì chuyện đó lại liên quan đến các năng lực khác của họ, không phải mỗi chuyện motivation.)

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TÔI LÀ LOẠI OBLIGATOR. Chả trách sao tôi luôn làm việc vì người khác mà chẳng làm gì được cho mình. Nhưng tôi lại là loại tự mâu thuẫn khi tôi rất căm ghét bản thân vì việc đó: suốt ngày chạy cuống lên vì việc của kẻ khác, còn mình thì chẳng làm nên trò trống gì. Tôi hẳn cũng bị lợi dụng vì cái tính đó nhiều.

Để cải thiện tình hình này: TÔI CẦN PHẢI TẠO CHO BẢN THÂN ĐỘNG LỰC, NẾU BẮT BUỘC PHẢI CÓ GIÁM SÁT TỪ BÊN NGOÀI, THÌ ĐÓ PHẢI LÀ BẮT NGUỒN TỪ SỰ SO SÁNH VÀ THEO DÕI DEADLINE CẦN THIẾT
1/ Track my daily time use: Ghi nhận, theo dõi, đánh giá việc sử dụng thời gian hằng ngày của tôi, ghi chú cụ thể thời gian nào tôi làm gì, sau đó tổng kết và phân loại xem tôi dành thời gian cho những việc gì, việc nào là có ích cho tương lai của tôi, việc nào là phí thời gian - là tôi đang tìm cách lảng tránh công việc, và việc nào hoàn toàn là làm cho kẻ khác - hay làm vì yêu cầu của kẻ khác.
2/ Giữ 1 tấm hình hoặc LỜI NHẮC NHỞ về kẻ mà tôi GHEN TỴ nhất trong đời tôi, để luôn nhắc nhở bản thân tôi rằng: Nếu mày không muốn càng lúc càng thua kém kẻ đó, thì mày BETTER WORK YOUR BUTT OFF.
3/ Xác định mục tiêu - chi tiết, cụ thể - set thời gian hạn định (Deadline) và lên lịch để thực thi
4/ Mỗi ngày tự đánh giá những gì đã làm, và tổng kết rõ: Số thời gian tôi đã dành để xây dựng tương lai mình, và số thời gian tôi PHÍ PHẠM!

[Diary] Biết ơn ... - 9 Jul 2017

Date: 9 Jul 2017
Source: Diary

Chưa bao giờ tôi thấy biết ơn đến thế!

- Vừa dạo qua blog review ngôn tình của 1 bạn nữ cuối 8x. Thấy ấn tượng về sự sâu sắc của bạn ấy khi nhận định, đánh giá về các tác phẩm ngôn tình, và sự 'hiểu thấu bản thân' của bạn ấy.
Vẫn thường tự hỏi sao lại có những người có khả năng nhìn nhận mọi việc sắc sào, thấu đáo, và tổng hợp, phân tích như vậy.
Mới đầu cũng hơi lạ vì cách viết nhẹ nhàng, rõ ràng, ko lan man, ko sến sẩm, mà sao lại thích những bài nhạc buồn man mác và lời rất chi là bi kịch. Trong lòng hơi khinh khinh nghĩ 'cũng chỉ là mấy đứa trẻ trâu ưa kịch hóa tình yêu.'
Rồi biết là bạn ấy đã có 1 mối tình, và người kia không còn nữa thì... Đau lòng.
Rất đau lòng. 
Đời này thứ tiếc nuối nhất không phải là muốn mà không được, mà là được nhưng mất đi vì không còn tồn tại. 
Cảm giác 'không còn tồn tại' của một ai đó, một cái gì đó rất kinh khủng. Bởi vì sau 1 thời gian đôi khi chính bạn sẽ nghi ngờ rằng những gì về thứ đó có thực sự từng tồn tại hay chỉ là ảo tưởng của chính bạn mà thôi. Nghi ngờ chính mình là điều kinh khủng nhất trên đời, vì nó khiến ta không biết phải tiếp tục sống như thế nào, vì ta đã mất đi nền tảng của bản thân.
-
Cảm thấy thật may mắn vì đời tôi không phải trải qua những thứ đó.

Từ lâu lâu lâu tôi đã luôn có 1 linh cảm và BIẾT ƠN rằng tôi có 1 cuộc đời BÌNH AN.

Bố Mẹ anh chị em đầy đủ. Gia đình trọn vẹn. Đầy đủ thông minh. Đầy đủ năng lực. Không bệnh tật hiểm nghèo. Không thù hằn chồng chất. Không nợ nần. Không tứ tán.

Những muộn phiền cuộc sống tôi chỉ là những điều vụn vặt linh tinh nhỏ bé, tranh chấp vớ vẩn, và tình yêu vớ vẩn.

Thật may mắn!

Tôi biết tôi không đủ lực để đối phó với những bi kịch thật sự trong cuộc sống. Linh hồn tôi yếu ớt lắm.

Tôi cũng nghĩ nếu cuộc đời này là lựa chọn của tôi cho con đường hoàn thiện linh hồn, thì hẳn phải mang ý nghĩa gì đó, cho nên dù có bất kì nỗi buồn phiền, thất vọng hụt hẫng nào cũng đều đáng giá. Vì đó là con đường trưởng thành của linh hồn tôi.

- 

Nghĩ về lí do tại sao mình hay quên. Nhớ rằng từ hồi nào đó đã quyết định rằng không nên ghi nhớ khắc sâu bất cứ điều gì, chỉ muốn lướt qua cuộc đời, đi tận cùng và kết thúc, coi đó là cách để sống, nên từ đó trở đi tôi chẳng còn quá say mê, cũng chẳng còn ghi nhớ gì nữa cả. 

Thật kì lạ. Không ngờ trí nhớ của một con người tốt hay không lại do chính họ quyết định.

: )

[QUIZ] What Country in the World Best Fits Your Personality?

Date: 17 Aug 2014
Source: playbuzz

You are an adventurous individual who enjoys being outdoors and spending time being active. You are a risk taker and have no problem striking up a conversation with a total stranger. When you travel you love to get to know the locals, and their customs, and are always up for a challenge. You thrive in a culture where others share your deep appreciation for land, and believe life is best lived outdoors. You love a hard hike, but also love the water and are happy to spend a day beach side. You thrive in a society with diversity and appreciate a simpler way of living. You are keen on learning about cultures and customs that are different than your own, and enjoy a deep conversation, whether it be philosophical or spiritual. You are not a city dweller by any means, and definitely believe that life is something to explore and experience firsthand. This country gives you endless opportunities to live both an active lifestyle and enjoy the company of new found friends.

You're an enormous lover of the outdoors, whether it be skiing, snowboarding, fishing, hiking, biking, rock climbing, or just sitting on your deck overlooking the gorgeous mountain range ahead of you. Whether you actually live in the mountains or just feel like you do from all your dreams in them, The Alps will give you a feeling of home that far exceeds "where the heart is." Stretching across eight countries, this enormous mountain range is one of the greatest in the world, its near 16,000 ft peak at the incredible Mont Blanc. Take a ski vacation to the seemingly magical village of Chamonix in France or Courmayeur in Italy and enjoy the freshest powder, steepest trails, and best conditions your money can buy. Or take a summer vacation and experience incredible hiking around Lake Geneva, Switzerland. Whatever you do, these outdoors will have you begging to stay for longer!
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You're not a liar! We want to congratulate you on your honesty! You're truly a rare breed: reliable, trustworthy, and a true truth seeker. You value objectivity and you'd make a great scientist, philosopher or judge! The only down side is that you're so much of a realist that you might need to be a bit more imaginative in life! Stay true to your values and continue speaking power to truth, but never hesitate to spice it up a bit!
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You motto for life is: "The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." You have come far and found yourself along the way. You fought hard to get where you are and you should be proud of yourself!
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Your past life boyfriend was James Dean, the ultimate rebel without a cause!
You are adventurous, sexy, rebellious and you love a boy that pushes the boundaries. There's just something about "bad boys" that was always exciting for you and you'll never settle for a run-of-the-mill guy. You don't want a nice guy with a good job and decent salary. You want something more interesting! You need romance that makes you feel like you're living life to the fullest. Boy, oh boy, was that James Dean! He was a cultural icon of disillusionment and rebellion. You two had the best, most adventurous time together.
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The Sater Design Collection's "Cordillera" is right for you! You are a truly classic person and enjoy the finer things in life. You always desire the luxurious things. Cultured and intelligent, you love to travel. You fill your life with things from other cultures and your home should reflect the history of other places and times.
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Your life is ruled by greed! You’re chic and have an eye for aesthetic and physical materiality. You are comforted by pleasing physical spaces and enjoy spending time alone in your own ‘zone’. Although you definitely have good taste, you can sometimes get caught up in the superficiality of material goods. Your family and friends remind you of what’s really important!
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Your passion, tenacity and steadfast desire to fight for the rights of the underdog defy the odds, and your victories are made even more sweet by the fact that while helping others, you in turn will help yourself.
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You’re the perfect one! Mature and sensible, you’re the family’s greatest success. You’re respectful and trustworthy, and considered to be the smart and capable one. Although you may occasionally fear failure, your natural intellect and talent will take you far (and make your family look good).
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Your style personality is SEXY COOL.You don't see anything wrong with highlighting your best assets — so long as it doesn't look like you're trying too hard. It's all in the attitude, so comfort is essential. Think sexy jeggings that look like a jean but feel like a legging, supersoft body-skimming cardigans, and open-side flats in a racy animal print. The art of seduction has never felt so effortless.

Your Style Type is the Femme Nouveau

Not only do you exude an ultra-feminine air of romance, you also have a remarkable playfulness and affinity for the avant-garde. Your exceptional likeness for floral prints, lace ruffles, beading, and bows makes you the quintessential version of today's modern day femme.

Try pairing a patterned fit and flare dress with a vibrantly colored pair of strappy platforms for a look that radiates a whimsical romance.

Your Style Type is Cultivated Classic

You transcend the basics with effortless attire that takes on a simple, modern, yet refined aesthetic. You have a cool sensibility in putting together looks that have a timeless inventiveness that is uniquely you. Your wardrobe has an array of functional separates, transitional pieces and refined prints that is truly classic.

Invest in bright, classic pieces such as skirts and blazers to easily create color-blocked outfits. Simply slip on statement accessories and high heels to change up your entire look.

30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30

Date:20 May 2013
Source: Cosmopolitan
30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She's 30

* By 30, you should have:
1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realization that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

*By 30, you should know:
16. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
17. How you feel about having kids.
18. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
19. When to try harder and when to walk away.20. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.21. The names of: the secretary of state, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.22. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.23. How to take control of your own birthday.24. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.25. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.26. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.27. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.28. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.29. Not to apologize for something that isn’t your fault.30. Why they say life begins at 30.

Trust myself. Look forward to no one else. There's nothing personal, only priority

"Enjoy everything that happens in your life, but never make your happiness or success dependent on an attachment to any person, place, or thing."

[JOB] How to be happier at work

Date: 5 Sep 2012
Source: CBS Watch

How to be happier at work

(MoneyWatch) COMMENTARY Happiness is much in the news this week with the release of Gretchen Rubin'sHappier at Home, her sequel to the book-turned-cultural phenomenon known as The Happiness Project. In her latest book, she spends a year pursuing domestic bliss. She re-examines her possessions, how she spends her time, how she interacts with her family members and comes up with lots of additions to the happiness toolkit. Go on adventures with each kid. Take up a new challenge. Become a tourist in your own neighborhood. Create shrines to happy memories.

It's all fascinating advice, but while we want our homes to be a refuge, we spend a lot of time at work, too. And so, the book got me thinking: Are there ways to do a happiness project in the office as well?

What successful people know about weekends
4 things Gen Y gets right about work
Why morning people are happier

I do believe that whatever you are doing now, professionally, you can make your work life better in a million ways. Happiness is ultimately a choice. Here are a few ways to choose it on the job:

1. Put something on your desk that makes you smile. Sure, the photos of your kids are great, but I'm guessing you start looking past them after they're there long enough. Switch them up every few months, and think outside the photo album. What about a bright orange flower? A print? (My mood is improved by several Wendy Hollender botanical drawings on my office walls).

2. Schedule something to savor during every workday. Maybe it's lunch at a new place, 15 minutes reading a good book on your break, or a phone call to an old colleague to catch up. Plan it in, so you can enjoy the anticipation as well.

3. Choose your projects carefully. Hopefully one of the benefits of climbing up your corporate ladder is getting to spend more of your time on things you want to do. When you're excited about a project, you're naturally more focused and cheery. Aim to be in that state most of the time. Seek these projects out and do what it takes to land them.

4. Challenge yourself. We are happiest when working right at the limits of our abilities, attempting things that are difficult but doable.

5. Get a grip on your time. Time wasters (random web surfing, instantly responding to email) are fun in the moment, but weigh you down like eating too much fast food. Fill your work hours with important things, and you'll naturally devote less time to things that don't matter.

6. Make friends. Try to grab coffee with someone new each week. Social ties are a strong component of happiness, and knowing people personally makes work less chilly.

7. Take the long view. You can perceive ambiguous comments as slights, and ruminate on them all day. Or you can remind yourself that you will have absolutely no memory of this incident two years from now. One mindset will definitely make you happier than the other.

8. Choose the bigger life. That's the tagline of Happier at Home, and as Rubin quotes Samuel Johnson, "Life is barren enough surely with all her trappings... let us therefore be cautious how we strip her." We often like to keep things simple. We like to avoid rocking the boat. But while trying to improve a popular product, or reform a storied culture is a huge risk, in the end, we only live once. You can hold your fire, but what are you saving your energy for? Spend out -- and you may just buy happiness.

... In the end, we only live once. You can hold your fire, but what are you saving your energy for?

You can perceive ambiguous comments as slights, and ruminate on them all day. Or you can remind yourself that you will have absolutely no memory of this incident two years from now.

Karl's MEMO:
1/ Keep your inspiration and happy ingredients within your sight.
2/ Plan for new and exciting things each day: lunch time at a new place, coffee time with a new friend, read a part in a book in your break, contact with an old colleague, etc.
3/ Fill your time with quality tasks - and don't waste on unimportant things.
4/ Only take in mind and keep in heart people and things that are meaningful to your life. Don't weight on bad moments or incidents.

10 things that won't matter in ten year's time - and 10 things that will

Source: www.pickthebrain.com

10 things that won't matter in ten year's time - and 10 things that will

You’re stressed, overworked, and tired. You feel like you’re dropping the ball on so many things. You find yourself lying awake in the early hours, thinking about those items still on your to-do list, those emails not yet cleared.

One day, some little incident makes you blow up. For me, it was my printer malfunctioning and my stapler breaking in the middle of a very busy week, when I was trying to sort out some last-minute handouts for my post-grad classmates.

Have you ever heard the phrase “don’t sweat the small stuff”? There are so many things that we waste huge amounts of energy on (and worry is always wasted energy), which just won’t matter in a week, let alone ten years.

Here are ten examples of things you might be stressing about today that will not matter a jot in ten years’ time:
1. That embarrassing misspelling in the email you just sent
2. The jerk who cut you up on your way into work
3. How clean your kitchen is when your mother-in-law comes to visit
4. One of your kids acting up
5. A nasty email from a stranger
6. Missing a deadline
7. Losing out on a job interview to a better candidate
8. Slipping up on grocery shopping and offering your family a choice of cereal or sandwiches for dinner, one night
9. Making a small mistake in a report – and being called up on it by a client
10. Your library books being overdue

So what are you going to pour your energy into instead? There are a number of things you might want to concentrate on, including your family, your health and your dreams for the future. So these are ten things which will matter in ten years’ time. Some of them need to be done on a consistent, daily basis for you to really see effects:
1. Writing down your goals
2. Working at the times of day when you’re most productive and energetic
It is really matter, in long term. Instead of worrying over some little mistake at work or in your home life, think about your actions that build up to a bigger picture. Did you get any exercise today? Did you take the time to prepare healthy, tasty meals? Did you work on anything that you felt truly fired-up and inspired about?
3. Telling your kids and partner that you love them
4. Eating plenty of fruit and veggies
5. Going for a half-hour walk – sunshine, fresh air and exercise!
6. Getting up early to work on something that really matters to you
7. Painting a watercolour, writing a poem, or knitting a jumper
8. Doing something unexpected (but that you know will be welcomed) for your partner
9. Spending time learning and practising a new skill
10. Taking time for yourself, to think, pray or meditate

Focus your attention on the things that will matter in ten years – not the tiny ups and downs of your day that you’ll have forgotten about in a week or two.

After all, what would you rather look back on in 2019 – ten years of a stressing over a clear email inbox and a tidy house, or ten years when you made huge strides towards accomplishing your goals?

Karl's MEMO:
Focus your attention on the things that will matter in ten years – not the tiny ups and downs of your day that you’ll have forgotten about in a week or two.
1- Make a list of your goals
2- Work at the times when you’re most productive and energetic
3- Let those you love know about that
4- Eat healthily
5- Go for a walk - half an hour each day
Enjoy the light, the breeze, and the fresh air
6- Go to bed a little earlier, and wake up a little sooner
7- Give yourself time to do things that makes you happy: paining, singing, writing poems, knitting a jumper...
8- Let go off of control at times - do things out of plan
9- Spend time to learn and practice new skills
10- Spend time with your loved ones
Live to made huge strides towards accomplishing your goals